If there’s one lesson I’ve learned so far in my life, it’s to never procrastinate. Like how I in my youth shouldn’t have held in my pee until my bladder exploded in a yellow stream of urine, I shouldn’t have procrastinated writing about a game I played over a week ago which is exactly what I’m doing right now. And just like how procrastination resulted in me needing a diaper in those early days of my life, procrastination has again resulted in me writing a post about Gaku Ou which I only hazily remember. While those analogies may not be entirely appropriate, I believe you get my point.
As another artifact of my procrastination, Algester has whipped up a Gakuou Review of his own as I’m writing this very post, stealing my thunder in the process as if I ever made one. But that also means I have less to write, for which I’m always grateful. And I’m also hoping that what I write will be more intelligible than the unique writing styles of his and m3rry’s.
The story starts out as our protagonist Hiroto is in a spaceship crash landing to Gynesis, a “school country” where the entire country is basically one giant school with the principal as its president. Once he landed, he proceeds to enroll in the school despite the fact that he’s essentially an extremely humanoid alien indistinguishable from a real human but no one seems to care. The mission given to him by his mom, the queen of his home planet, is to conquer this country through whatever means necessary. But he obviously can’t do that, since he’s all alone with no means whatsoever of taking over a country, and he would much rather have fun in the new school which he has always dreamed of attending.
As they have pointed out, it is very hard if even possible to take the story seriously. But I wouldn’t consider that a flaw per se since the story doesn’t take itself seriously either, for the most part. The protagonist himself is rather easy going for a conqueror too; he gets fascinated by just about everything he is experiencing for the first time, like the mere act of going to school from home. I can’t think of any better way to demonstrate the absurdity of the setting than showing you the potentially delicious and slightly NSFW images of the circumstances in which he is introduced to the heroines.
In chronological order, he is introduced to Akari in the shower when he somehow teleported into it from the spaceship, found Uzuki in the changing room while he is oh so innocently exploring the gymnasium, bumped into Annemarie with a beautiful
pantsu nopan shot, and finally met Hinayu in the women’s bathroom after he walked into the wrong side. I don’t know how anyone can take the plot seriously after these introductions.
After he is acquainted with the heroines perhaps more intimately than they would like, he discovers that the school only has 7 students total, including him, the 4 heroines, and the 2 other guys who are so generic I don’t want to spend the effort introducing them. Since this is far from the ideal school situation he was always dreaming of, he begins the reconstruction of the school by accepting challenges from the school’s president/principal which are really nothing more than fancy introductions to new characters and time for more character interactions.
What this comes down to is that this game is a chara-ge in its purest form with minimal story to get in the way of all the icharabu between the protagonist and the heroines. Whether this is a pro or con is undoubtedly subjective. If you’re like me who tend to skim through the occasional dramatic bits and only pause to enjoy the ichaicha, you can probably enjoy the game for what it is – a shallow and pretty looking moe-ge. On the other hand, if you’re the kind who actually plays eroge for the story, you won’t find any of that here. The game is from Lump of Sugar, what did you expect? They aren’t exactly known for their deep stories, with the possible exception of Itsusora.
Now that we’re done with the story, or whatever they’re calling the story, it’s the characters’ turn in the spotlight. The characters are all fairly generic, including a tsundere with an emphasis on the dere, an athletic genki girl who likes to tease other, a loli with a un-loli-like rack who likes to cook, and another kuudere loli who also happens to be one of the teachers. Then there’s the 2 guys, a musical guy who likes to play the guitar, and a typical ero friend. Of all the side characters, the P.E. teacher is the most interesting one. You’ll see why soon enough.
I’m only going over the 2 heroines, Akari and Hinayu, whose routes I’ve completed. The other 2 I’ll possibly cover in a later post if I feel like it and when I’m not distracted by other things, like Twinkle ☆ Crusaders –Passion Star Stream– which distracted me long enough to complete its primary route after I completed my second route in Gaku Ou. Maybe this says something about how uninteresting this game is, but I can’t say for sure since Illear in PSS is likely to entice me away from just about any game.
The above situation happened during the school’s sports festival. If that happened in my school, I imagine my athletic prowess would be on a whole ‘nother level as then I would actually participate in it. Anyway, Akari is the heroine first introduced, in the shower. She’s the group’s tsundere, possessing all the qualities of one and certainly acts like one like voluntarily making him lunch when he clearly did not request it and blushes bright red after he said it’s delicious even though “it’s not like I wanted to make your lunch!” She’s also the school director’s daughter, which plays a major part in her route but not really otherwise.
Akari’s route deals with her duty of protecting the school, a duty she bears on her own. All it took is for the protagonist to let Akari know she is very much not alone, and their happily ever after life follows. There is a slight obstacle in the way, in the form of a master exam for the “generalist” title which denotes the best teacher with teaching expertise in every single subject area. But once that is done, nothing else stands in their way to icharabu all day, every day. In the process, she lose all the tsun, becomes completely dere, and sticks to him like opposite ends of magnets.
Hear, hear! Lolis aren’t small, the world is merely too big, according to Hinayu the loli teacher and senpai. The archetypal kuudere, she rarely shows her emotions and speaks without much inflection most of the time. But like a true kuudere, she also has a dere side when it comes to the cute animals she can’t stop hugging. She comes from a family of doctors, and is an expert at all things science related. She is very sensitive to anyone calling her small or short.
What amount of plot present is related to her motivation of becoming a teacher which conflicts with her dream of becoming a doctor. But I’m fully aware that no one is reading this for the plot, so l shall skip that aspect and get on with the ichaicha related parts. She is the kind that tries to put on a senpai aura by trying to take the lead in the relationship, which breaks down the moment the protagonist pats her head like a cute loli. Her love for chocolate bananas doesn’t help her senpai image either. And if my memory serves me right, the fact that she is a teacher is only brought up in the H scenes for reasons you can probably guess.
This concludes my unusually lengthy impression. If you like a moe-ge in a somewhat wacky setting which is what Lump of Sugar is known for, you may like this. Though I do feel that they didn’t take the wacky setting far enough, à la Osananajimi wa Daitouryou, which results in a setting that feels all too familiar with minor twists. Otherwise, if none of the characters interests you or you would like an actual story, this has nothing for you. Except maybe if you want to hear True My Heart again, sung by Annemarie.
The next post will either be about Twinkle ☆ Crusaders –Passion Star Stream– if I decide to finish that, or the other 2 heroines in Gaku Ou whose routes I still haven’t complete. There’s also a small chance I may post something about Dousei LoverAble too. Sorry for being such a mess; I hopped around games too much lately.
Finally, I’m thinking of a new blog theme to give the blog a more vibrant and colorful feel. Please be aware that screenshot is only a preview of what is to come if that is implemented, the header image and the background color will be the first things changed to fit the new theme while the sidebar will be cleaned up as well. I would very much appreciate it if you can leave comments regarding that in the comments here or on the survey. Thanks for your support!