[NSFW] Lament for Nukige

This painfully conspicuous red text is to remind you that there’s a NSFW tag in the title in case you missed it somehow.

What do you do when you’ve played too many games but wrote about none of them? Do you write a separate piece for each of them? Of course not, since that’s way too much work. Instead, I’m squishing them all into a single post which is what you’ll be getting.

I’ve been wondering what makes a good nukige. In my opinion, a good nukige compels you to actively fap while playing it, while a bad one leaves your lower body limp and lifeless and wondering why you aren’t watching real porn instead. Imouto ga Boku wo Neratteru, Houkago Eroge-bu, Koiimo, and Maou no Kuse ni Namaiki Da fall into the latter category; they simply aren’t fappable. Let me explain in more detail for each of the game.

Imouto ga Boku wo Neratteru

Game Site: 妹が僕を狙ってる 
Getchu: http://www.getchu.com/soft.phtml?id=731230

From the title, it looks like a dream come true – you have imoutos aiming for your virginity to bear your children and they would not hesitate using any means necessary to accomplish that goal. The common route is good enough with the protagonist sleeping with every one of his sisters like any responsible brother should. As it’s always the case, the parents are no where to be seen. Not that I’m complaining.

But things only went south from here after they inserted loads of drama about pregnancy later on in the routes. Yeah I know getting your sister pregnant probably isn’t the best idea in the world for all sorts of reasons, but that’s only relevant in the real world. When I’m playing a nukige, I want to fap to it. Melodrama isn’t fappable. While some H scenes aren’t that bad at all, the melodrama before and after it takes most of the fun out of them. Perhaps I shouldn’t have went in expecting happy imouto sex when there’s a loli holding a giant dildo in the title screen. In the end, I guess this is a game purely for those with a pregnancy fetish. Because other than that I see nothing else in this game besides imoutos, albeit pregnant ones. At least there’s an harem end.

Houkago Eroge-bu

Game Site: 放課後☆エロゲー部 ～エロゲー製作のために女の子たちとえっちしまくりな毎日～
Getchu: http://www.getchu.com/soft.phtml?id=724544

One of these is bound to come sometime, an eroge about making eroge. Disregarding the fact that I don’t think schools anywhere would accept the existence of such a club, or maybe I’m merely close-minded, this game does show very roughly the tasks that needed to be done to create a successful nukige – like you have be aroused by the game you’re making yourself. If only making eroge is really this easy…

I’ll confess I only played the imouto route fully and half of Akane’s route, so what I say may be completely different for the other routes. First of all, the voices suck. They either speak too softly, too slowly, too unnaturally, or too much like a guy speaking. The mob voices are even worse. As we all know, voices are essential to fapping and the game fails in that regard. Worse, the romantic development is nearly nonexistent. They have lots of sex for “work” purposes and suddenly decide to get into a relationship only after the eroge they’re working on is done which is nearly the end. Romance felt like a rushed afterthought.

Koiimo Sweet Days

Game Site: 恋妹SWEET☆DAYS
Getchu: http://www.getchu.com/soft.phtml?id=729591

I’m not sure whether to categorize this game as eroge or nukige since at first glance it looks to be pretty innocent. But after tons of H scenes one after the other, I’ve decided to put the game here. And that’s where the game’s trouble lies, it can’t decide for itself whether it wants to be a lovely eroge or a fap-friendly nukige.

Looking at it as an eroge, it’s mediocre with minimal character development. As an nukige, it’s not that great either with boring run-of-the-mill H scenes that we’ve all seen many times before provided you didn’t skip them. Voices for the little imouto and the osananajimi could be a lot better too. But most importantly, the onee-san doesn’t have a route! As much of a imo-con that I am, I’ve surprisingly found the onee-san to be more likable compared to the heroines. Her intelligence, deviousness, and treating sex with her little brother like an ordinary daily task earned her a spot in my harem.

Maou no Kuse ni Namaiki Da

Game Site:魔王のくせに生イキだっ！
Getchu: http://www.getchu.com/soft.phtml?id=740562

In a standard nonsensical setup, 4 maou and their maids come to the human world looking for the rumored strongest sorcerer in the world – a 30 years old otaku virgin who happens to be the protagonist. Needless to say, they feast on his semen as a source of power so much he gets drained dry almost every day, in a good way that is. I’ve wanted protagonists like him for a long time. Instead of shying away from sex like other hetare protagonists, he embraces it with open arms and the word hentai is the greatest compliment you can give him. More protagonists need to be like him, really, so that boring H scenes can finally be a thing of the past.

Ok, voice acting is flawless this time but that alone doesn’t mean the game is good. Since the H scenes come practically non-stop, there is almost no time for development so that all the girls fall in love with him rather jarringly. I can’t blame them though, they’re probably enslaved by his magical semen. The second thing is there is only 1 individual route for the main heroine Ann, and all the rest are harem routes. I love harem routes and all, but it couldn’t hurt having a separate ending for each of the maou, especially the doM maou or the loli one. Lastly, being maou the girls of course have super magical powers as by convention. Unfortunately however, those powers were only discussed but never utilized in H scenes.  Not only would using those powers give them more personality as they each specialize in different kinds of magic, more importantly it would make the H scenes much more exciting. Hey, even their maids know how to use their own powers, why don’t the masters know?

This is by no means a complete analysis on what makes a nukige fappable, but here are some of the factors that may make it so: nukiges should have no drama, no boring H scenes, at least some development so you can feel the sex more, plenty of imoutos, plenty of harems, routes for everyone, good fappable voices, and utilize its gimmicks to the fullest. Your mileage may…probably will vary.

Now that I finished dissing multiple nukiges and probably garnered insurmountable amount of hate, I’ll praise some nukiges next time so I don’t get stabbed in the back next time I step outside of my house. Or maybe I should shut myself in my room playing Bishoujo Mangekyou 2. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. AHHH YEAAAH!